


One Night Stands

by renrenners



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Jearmin is end game, M/M, Modern AU, One-Sided Eren Yeager/Armin Arlert, Past Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, in which Armin isn't always so smart and Jean is surprisingly mature, this thing is so old and I just now finished it look at me I'm a disgrace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 18:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5551250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renrenners/pseuds/renrenners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night stands were never meant to last. Jean seems to have missed the memo, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Night Stands

There wasn't a sound to be heard in the room apart from the gasps of air and wanton moans. The small bedroom was hot, almost unbearably so, but it went unnoticed by the otherwise preoccupied me. Their lips broke apart for a brief second, legs nearly tangling in each other as they tried to make their way to the bed, and a rough voice whispered, "I don't even know your name..."

Lips met again, but only briefly, "It's Armin."

\--

One night stands were never meant to last. That was the point. So when Armin awoke alone in his bed the next morning, he wasn't surprised. He'd never even asked the stranger his name, and that was precisely what he wanted. One night stands couldn't hurt him, not like he had.

He didn't have work, so Armin took the chance to remain in bed, tucked beneath the sheets that still smelled like the night's stranger. It was a nice scent, he decided, like sunflowers and honey, and he was almost sad that it would be washed away once he finally got up.

Armin had almost drifted to sleep when the bed beneath him shifted, a warm weight sinking into the mattress as a slightly calloused hand ran along his jaw line. A soft chuckle jolted him back to consciousness in a heartbeat, and in his tired hurry to get away, he only managed to become tangled in his sheets. The chuckle turned into a full blown fit of laughter, and Armin peeked out from his cocoon of sheets, "Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to freak you out."

"You're... still here?" Armin asked, finally willing to extract himself, watching the night's stranger intently. He'd never had to deal with the morning after before, but this one appeared to not have gotten the message.

"Well, yeah, I mean, I was kind of rough last night, so I figured the least I could do was make you breakfast..." So that's why there was the unfamiliar scent of bacon floating through the air. He'd assumed it was coming from one of the neighboring apartments. "Um, I can go, if you want?" The stranger continued awkwardly, scratching the back of his head, "I already used your kitchen, that, ah, probably doesn't make me look very good..." He laughed nervously, "Wow, this is going way worse than I imagined it..."

"It's fine." Armin cut him off before he could continue to ramble, wriggling free of the sheets, "You went through all the effort, it would be rude of me to kick you out." The man looked genuinely surprised, averting his eyes as the still naked Armin searched the floor for his boxers, and the blond couldn't help but smile, "What's with the shy act? We've already had sex."

"T-that's not the point! I'm a gentleman." He sputtered, and Armin nearly laughed. Almost.

"What kind of gentleman doesn't even introduce himself?" Armin teased, coiling his arms around the taller man's neck.

"Jean." He murmured, just before their lips met, "It's Jean."

\--

One night stands were never meant to last. Which didn't explain why Armin was sitting across the table from Jean the weekend after their supposedly one night fling, menus in hand as their waitress jotted down their orders. Jean was oddly charming, if a little dorky, and it was... nice. A change of pace. Jean's eyes would light up when they talked, and it made Armin feel. Feel the way he had never dared to again. Jean made him feel safe, and that terrified him.

But when Jean reached across the table to hold Armin's hand in his own, he didn't have the will to pull away.

\--

One night stands were never meant to last.

All the same, Armin was tucked up against Jean's side, struggling to stay awake while some horror movie played on the TV. Every now and again he would feel Jean jump, usually timed with the sudden loud noises. Honestly, Armin wasn't sure what about it was so scary, given that the big moments always had an audio buildup, but if Jean wanted to watch it then so be it.

Just as Armin nestled himself deeper into Jean's hold, the ending credits began to roll and Jean moved beneath him, "So tired already?" He teased, and Armin merely grunted, "Alright, time for bed." Another grunt as Armin reluctantly pulled away from the warm embrace, the noise turning into a high pitched squawk as Jean hoisted him over his shoulder.

"Jean!"

"Weren't you tired?" He asked innocently, carrying Armin effortlessly to the bedroom, "Just doing my job as a gentleman."

"Gentleman my ass." Armin said under his breath, and Jean laughed as he placed the blond on the bed.

"Just shut up and go to sleep." He answered, climbing into bed beside him, and the moment there were warm arms around him, Armin ceased to care about being manhandled. Nothing mattered, so long as he was with Jean.

He was starting to fall, and there would be no way back from this.

\--

One night stands were never meant to last. When Jean mumbled another man's name in his sleep, Armin remembered.

\--

One night stands were never meant to last. That was why he did them.

When he was sixteen, Armin realized he was gay. The thought didn't particularly bother him, and his friends and family took it well.

The problem lay with how he realized he was gay. Or, more specifically, who.

Armin had fallen completely, hopelessly in love with his best friend. His straight, male best friend. He locked the feelings in his chest, scared of what would happen if Eren found out, scared of losing the relationship he cherished so much. He locked the feelings away so that no one would ever know, and he could keep on pretending.

If he pretended hard enough, surely the feelings would go away.

But high school ended and college began, and his love never changed. Armin had gotten better at pretending, but he had also gotten tired. Tired of smiling and laughing when his heart felt like it was tearing itself apart, and his chest was about to burst, until he just couldn't take it anymore.

The day after graduation, Armin bought a one way plane ticket to the other side of the country. His grandfather, the only relative he had, had passed away a few months earlier, so there was nothing holding him there. He changed his cell number and email, and forced Eren out of his sight. 

Maybe, one day, he'd rid himself of these feelings and be able to go home.

But three years had passed, and nothing had changed. Strangers took it off of his mind, and they never made him feel. Armin wouldn't let them.

But then came Jean.

\--

One night stands were never meant to last.

This was the mantra Armin repeated to himself as he called Jean's phone one Thursday afternoon. The taller man was at work, so he wouldn't be able to pick up and Armin could just leave a message. Maybe that made him a coward.

No, he definitely was a coward. He was running away, just like he had with Eren, even though the thought of leaving Jean made his heart ache.

Armin was a one night stand. He'd never be able to compare to Jean's Marco. The heart that had just barely thawed was broken once again, and if that made him a coward then so be it. All he needed to do was leave a message, and it would be over. Jean could get out of his life and, eventually, he would stop feeling. Just like before.

His message was quick, clear.

Armin had had enough.

As he dropped his phone onto the couch, he wondered how long it had been since the thought of Eren had made his heart hurt.

\--

One night stands were never meant to last. Jean seemed to have missed the memo, though. Armin's cell rang for the fifth time that evening, and he resisted the urge to throw the damn thing across the room. Jean's name flashed on the screen, again and again, almost as though it were taunting him.

Eventually Jean would stop. He would get fed up, realize that Armin was just going to keep ignoring him, and finally allow this charade of theirs to end.

Or so he thought.

The harsh pounding on his front door, mere feet away from where Armin lay curled up on his beaten couch, made his body start, and a new kind of fear swept through his veins. "Armin!" No. No, no, no, no. Jean couldn't do this to him. The blond pulled a throw pillow over his head, desperate for something, anything that could dull the pitiful emotions just that single call of his name drew from him, "Armin please, can't we talk about this?" He could hear Jean's voice clearly even through the door and the pillow.

Jean wasn't supposed to be here. Surely the missed calls were proof that there would be no talking about this. Armin wasn't going to reconsider. He didn't think his heart could handle it.

All the same, Jean's pounding on the door didn't cease, didn't even skip a moment, "Armin, I know you're in there. Please, just let me in."

If he kept this up the neighbors would start to complain and all Armin wanted was for him to just go away.

(But if he was honest to himself, and he hardly dared to be, he knew that that wasn't true. He wanted a lot. He wanted the hours they spent together to mean something, he wanted to mean something to Jean, be more than just a one night stand.

He wanted Jean to love him.)

It wasn't fair, to suddenly ask for a commitment when Armin was nothing more than a fling, not when it was Armin that had started it all. That's why he needed Jean to leave, before it was too late and he made an even bigger fool of himself.

"Armin!" But Jean just wasn't leaving, he kept pounding on the door, calling Armin's name like he cared.

It wasn't until Armin pulled the pillow away from his face that he realized it was damp. After years of putting up shields, covering his heart in ice so he would never be hurt again like he had been with Eren, Jean had brought it all crashing down around him. And he didn't even know.

He was sure his face was red and splotchy, his eyes puffy with tears, an absolute mess. His limbs felt like they were made of lead as he forced himself to his feet, and the short distance to the apartment door had never felt longer. His heart seemed to sink deeper and deeper into the hollow cavern of his chest with every step that took him closer to Jean, until there was nothing but the wooden door between them. It still vibrated with every knock from the outside, each one seeming to echo in his ears.

"Armin-" He turned the lock and opened the door before he had a chance to change his mind, and the action caught Jean off guard, his fist pausing in thin air and his eyes growing wide at the mess of a man that was presented to him.

"You're making a racket, the neighbors are going to complain." Armin said, forcing any emotions out of his voice, as though that would force them from his heart as well. He stepped to the side, silently allowing Jean entrance, but the man only continued to gape at him, "You have three seconds before I'm slamming this door." That seemed to finally register in Jean's mind, and he hastily stumbled inside.

It wasn't until Armin had the door safely shut from the outside world that Jean spoke, and if Armin didn't know better, it might have been hurt that was lacing the words, "Don't you know what a shitty way this is to break up with someone?"

"Does it matter?" Armin asked back, and he couldn't bring himself to look at Jean. He didn't dare to. "You can throw out any of my stuff at your place, I don't need it back."

"Armin."

"I have a box of your things."

"Armin-"

"I was going to mail it to you, but since you're here you might as well-"

"Armin!" Firm hands clenched down on Armin's shoulders, cutting his sentence short as his eyes were forced to meet Jean's, "I'm not breaking up with you."

Truthfully, Armin had thought about this a lot. He had run countless scenarios through his mind, things Jean would say to him, how he would respond, and in none of them had he imagined this. He had anticipated an angry Jean, an upset Jean, even a passive Jean. Never did he think Jean would outright refuse. All his carefully planned out responses, his stories (lies) meticulously formed, and now he had nothing to say. "What?"

"I'm not. Breaking up. With you." Jean repeated, his strong hands still holding tight to the smaller man's shoulders with an emotion in his eyes that Armin couldn't name, "And certainly not while you're standing there crying. C'mon, let's sit down and talk about this. Alright?" He reached a hand up to brush away Armin's tears, and the blond nearly got caught up in the tenderness of Jean's smile.

But it wasn't tenderness that he needed. Not now, not from Jean. "No." Armin forced out, a waver in his voice that he couldn't manage to stop, "We're done, Jean. I'm not doing this anymore. I can't."

"Is this about Eren?" There was nothing accusatory in Jean's voice, yet still it felt like a gunshot to the chest, the name he hadn't heard spoken in so long echoing inside his head.

"How... How do you know that name?" Armin asked, feeling his carefully built up facade start to crumble. Jean was never supposed to know.

"He's a friend. Kinda." Jean rubbed the back of his neck almost nervously, "We worked together a couple years back, before I moved up here and we stayed in touch."

Every drop of blood in Armin's body felt like it had turned to ice, a cold wave of fear sweeping over him. Jean had always known. All this time Jean had known, and Armin had been swept along in his game.

Anger and bitterness washed over Armin in a heartbeat, and his voice was terse when he spoke, "So that's what it's all about." It almost made sense now, why Jean kept coming back, kept forcing himself to be more than a one night stand. It was never for Armin, never because there were any emotions. In the end, Armin was the only one swept along by it, played for the fool, "Get out."

"Armin-"

"I said get out!" He repeated, louder, his heart caught in his throat and tears in his eyes, "Tell Eren whatever the hell you want. I want nothing to do with either of you."

"Armin-" Jean tried again, only to be cut off by a piercing yell.

"Get out, Jean. I'm done with your bullshit."

Suddenly there were two strong hands cupping his face, Jean sounding surprisingly calm, "Armin, look at me." He didn't know when he had closed his eyes, but they were clenched shut tight, barricading away the tears that were close to escaping. Jean's thumbs rubbed soft circles on his cheeks, wiping away the wetness lingering on his skin, "Please, Armin?" Only then did the blond comply, albeit reluctantly. His vision was blurry, clouded by the tears he refused to let fall, but Jean carefully brushed those away too. "I didn't know there was any connection between you and Eren until a week ago. He has nothing to do with this. I want to be with you, Armin."

Armin shook his head, "No." He whispered hoarsely. While a certain weight had been lifted, it didn't change the facts. The reason why he did this to begin with. "This was a fling, Jean. It got out of hand, so it needs to stop."

"Why?" Jean asked, persistent, "What are you scared of? It's not one-sided, I want this. You don't have to be afraid."

"Marco." The name was past Armin's lips before he could stop himself, and he could feel Jean's hold on him stiffen. He used the moment to wind himself free, putting space between them even though his heart yearned for the closeness. 

"Marco was a long time ago." Jean eventually said, and Armin averted his eyes. Not long enough. "Marco's dead, Armin." He continued, a certain twinge of pain behind his words, "We both went into this with other people in mind. People we couldn't have. But that stopped a long time ago Armin. I don't want anyone but you. Don't run away from me."

Armin didn't speak, but he also didn't flinch away when Jean's arms coiled around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. He closed his eyes, letting the scent he had become so familiar with seep into his every pore. It was stupid, he knew, to let himself get swept away. All the years he'd spent building up the walls around his heart seemed to be no match for even just the simplest of sweet words, because despite the undeniable chance that this all could still come crashing down around him, Armin couldn't find it in himself to pull away.

"You weren't supposed to come back." It was all Armin could manage to choke out, and there was a clear waver in his usually steady voice even as his hands clenched tightly to the front of Jean's shirt, the fabric balling up in his fists. "It was just a one night stand."

"You really do sell yourself short." Jean murmured, giving the smaller body pressed against his own a squeeze, "How could anyone want just one night with you?" He pulled away, just enough to wipe the remaining tears from Armin's eyes and gently lead him down onto the couch. Armin didn't protest, not even when they sat so close to each other that their legs touched. 

"Besides." Jean continued, a tender smile stretching across his lips, "It can't be a one night stand if you meet more than once. And definitely not if you go out on dates. I know you're smart, 'Min, but god you can be such an idiot."

Armin laughed, surprising them both as the first hints of a smile stretched across his face for what had felt like an eternity. His heart still felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, but the painful gnawing of despair had finally started to dissipate. 

"I'm not going anywhere." Jean said, brushing away stray wisps of blond from Armin's tear stained face, "I won't make you talk about Eren. You don't have to talk about anything. But you're not getting rid of me. You're stuck."

"Being stuck... doesn't sound too bad."

\--

One night stands were never meant to last. But that was okay, because he didn't need them anymore. All he needed was Jean.

"Are you ready?" Jean asked, seated snugly next to Armin on the couch of their newly shared apartment, Skype staring back at them from the laptop on the coffee table. The number was already queued up and while Armin's heart was beating a mile a minute, he wasn't scared.

"Yeah." He hit the call button, breath caught in his throat as he waited. And when finally the screen changed, a familiar face and piercing green eyes staring at him in disbelief, Armin smiled, "Hi, Eren."

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream with me about Jearmin on tumblr pls I'm a very lonely person renrenthegreat.tumblr.com


End file.
